Топ исполнителей

What's Funny (Bo Burnham)

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My show is a little bit silly and a little bit pretentious 
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Like Shakespeare's willy or Noam Chomsky wearing a strapon, 
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It's also a little bit gay and a little offensive, 
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Like Thanksgiving Day or Noam Chomsky wearing a strapon, 
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So put your cell phones to vibrate, 
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And put your vibrators to cell phone mode, 
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Welcome to the show it goes a little bit like this, 
            A
JOKE... (laugh)... exactly. 
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Welcome to my flow it flows a little bit like this, 
            A
With a rap a dist and a, 
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Swift rap on the wrist a wrap and a kiss, 
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Like Hershey's wrapping a kiss shit. 
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I got a show that'll test ya kids, 
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Then ask one question and the question is, 
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What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? 
                                                        A
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funny? 
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Oh, Humor is often linked to shared experience, 
           D                       
Like a guy gets up and says, 
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"have you noticed that public restrooms have 
                       Bm  A
really inefficient hand dryers, 
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Oh my god, yes I have, HА HА HA, 
                    A                D
Really good point, they should fix that, 
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Its good to know that somebody finally gets me, 
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because my wife divorced me which Sub-Consciously forced me, 
     Bm                A
to lose all sense of self. 
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So its nice to think about hand dryers
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and not that cheating whore, 
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Because stand up comedy is actually pretty easy, 
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If you're an asian comic just get up and say, 
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"My mothers got the weirdest fucking accent" 
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then just do, a chinese accent, 
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because everybody laughs at the chinese accent, 
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Because they privately thought that your people were laughable, 
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And now you've given them the chance to express that in public, 
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If you're a musical comic, just give 'em a little 
           Bm       A
weird voice inflection 
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Then take a Viagra and slap 'em with a rock hard misdirection 
            D                                        G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? 
                                                       A 
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funny? 
[stop] 
TOURETTE'S! 
            D                                       G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? 
                                                        A
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funny? 
And the audience says 
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When I was a baby, maybe I laughed at people jiggling keys, 
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Now I'm older and bolder, 
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And just get mad 'cause i notice that the keys are to a Hummer, 
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Fuck my life I don't fuck my wife, 
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so fuck my wife and fuck my life, 
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and my son is gay, but not sitcom gay, 
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My daughter's a whore like another girl who used to be her mother, 
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But the marriage made her miss merry americana, 
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I want a teen without screaming prima-donna, 
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But the radical feminists made my wife a man, 
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And if I die happy the situation will be autoerotic asphyxiation, 
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I hate my life and it hates me back,  
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and my friend is black,  
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but I don't know what to call him, so I just call him... 
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"Yo whatup Jamaal?",  
[stop]                      A 
Even though his name is Steve, 
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I Hate my job I hate my life, hate my kids I hate my wife, 
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Jews would know I do it; Judas beat me to it, 
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I'm slowly slipping into a solipsistic coma, 
 A              [just strum angrily a bunch of times]
And I masturbate because I'm the only one who's standards 
are low enough to fuck me.... 
..... 
            D                                         G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? 
                                                       A 
 What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funny?
[stop] 
*pop* It's a boy! 
            D                                     G
What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? 
                                                       A 
 What's funny? What's funny? What's funny? Funny? F-funny?
          D  A D
Hopefully this